by Ara Lucia Ashburne, LCPC
When we go through something painful—whether it’s a harsh comment, a breakup, or a deep loss—it can feel overwhelming and sometimes confusingly intense. That’s because pain rarely travels alone. It’s like a pinball machine, the ball bouncing off everything it hits on the way down. Each bumper it strikes is an echo of a past wound, such as an old heartbreak, a childhood hurt, or a moment when we felt unseen or unsafe.
Before we know it, we’re not just feeling today’s pain. We’re feeling the weight of all the others it woke up.
Counseling offers us the chance to heal old hurts. We get to visit those old bumpers, understand them, and transform them. The next time pain rolls in, it doesn’t set off a chain reaction. It can just be what it is: hard, of course, but not overwhelming, not amplified or triggering everything that came before.
Healing can diminish past pain and make room for the present.